Been There, Done That

I was listening to someone speak the other day and he said the problem he has with many of his single friends is that they hang around only single people! He essentially said the down side to doing that is they don’t get to hear first-hand what marriage is really like from those who have been there, done that, and are still there, doing that! Lol. And he’s right! There is a lot to learn from married friends – at least the ones who will tell you the TRUTH about marriage. The only issue is that most of them (especially those with children) are/seem so busy, right? Or is that an assumption we make? Nah, they busy! Lol. Sometimes you might even feel like you don't want to disturb them when you see all they have to do. Then there’s the “I have to go home and cook for my husband” phrase. Bless their hearts! *shout out to all the married folk* J

When you do get the chance though, for those of you who find that you don’t get to hang with your married friends often, try to get together with them as often as is reasonably possible and TALK. The truth isn’t always bitter y’all. Contrary to the negatives we hear more about, you’ll find that marriage is pretty awesome when you speak with your married friends. They won’t (shouldn’t) sugar-coat stuff – they’ll tell you the good and the not-so-good and it’ll really help you put things in perspective. And don’t just hang with those in your age-bracket, get with the egbons* i.e. big brother or big sister-type married “friends” too! Also, please, let’s stop treating our married friends like outcasts! Lol! e.g. not inviting them to stuff cos we assume they’ll be busy, etc. It ain’t fair and remember one day you’ll be married too. Do you wanna be an “outcast”? Lol.

I have to say, when my married friends open up to me about all kinds of stuff, I always learn something new. They share tips, triumphs, challenges, shockers (lol), etc. I really should hang out with them more often #NoteToSelf  (Watch out my married friends! Lol. And stop being or appearing so busy :p)

If you’re married and you’re reading this, what say you? Any nuggets you’d like to share?

*A Yoruba word for big brother or big sister