"All My Single Friends Are Useless!"
Let me guess, you saw the title and gasped thinking "no she didn't!". Well, yeah, I didn't! (So catch your breath. Lol). You see that statement is something many married men say when they are asked to match make their single male friends with great single women or when they are asked to recommend their single male friends for, say, Speed Dating events. Married men say it a lot!
- "Ah, you're such a wonderful woman, I wish I could find you a great husband BUT all my single friends are useless"
- "Ah, boys are crazy o! How can they not see how amazing you are!! Wish I had someone for you BUT all my single friends are useless"
- How come you're not seeing anyone?? Are Lagos men blind? Man, I wish I could hook you up with someone great BUT all my single friends are useless"
Now, these aren't their exact statements but they are close enough. And just in case your mind went there, these are your married male FRIENDS saying this (as in real friends, brother-type friends, egbons if you will) not married toasters * side eye * Lol.
And every time I hear a married man say that, I wonder about how "useless" they were before a woman decided to give them a chance and why they feel their "useless" single friends don't deserve a chance as well. After all, they say "birds of a feather flock together" and "show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are". If their single friends are so "useless" and they were once upon a time single as well and they were friends with these "useless" friends at that time, then certainly they were also "useless" at some point, right? Right! Which makes me also wonder if it was a case of they cleaned up their act (which their single friends are not ready to do yet) before they decided to get married and as such were not so useless when their now wife gave them a chance. For some reason, I'm not inclined to think that was the case. I think she decided to look beyond his "uselessness" and see potential (Haven't you seen how much most men transform when they get married?!).
I also wonder what they mean by "useless". Does useless mean:
- Quintessential bad boy
- Yoruba Demon * side eye *
- The list goes on!
What does "USELESS" mean? Men, married men, in particular, when those words, "all my single friends are useless" are leaving your mouth, what is typically the picture in your head that accompanies those words? Please enlighten us!
And since there are SO many single men and women out there who want to settle down but just can't seem to meet the right person and the married male friends who could help essentially can't help because they have USELESS single friends, what's the solution then???
Do single men even know their married male friends call them useless? Hmm. Lol. Married men, can you give your useless single friends tips on how to not be so useless anymore so you can connect them with an amazing woman? And can you share the secret to not being so useless anymore that worked for you so they can settle down too. Just saying...
There seems to be almost an epidemic y'all where both men and women are freaking out because time is "going" and they can't seem to find love. This "useless friends" thing can't continue to be one of the obstacles. And surely not all single men are useless na.
Now, let me say real quick that if your male single friend is really "useless" in the true sense of the word - violent, irresponsible, like just reallya bad person - then of course, don't pair him up with a woman in an attempt to help the "single crisis". But if he's your friend and he's useless simply because he's your "guy" and you don't take him seriously but he's really not a bad person when you think about it, then c'mon, help the sistas out!!
And I understand that perhaps some guys say their friends are useless because maybe their friends aren't actually "useless" but they don't want to match make them with anyone because they don't want to held responsible if anything goes wrong. I get that. I understand. But nothing stops you from
creating opportunities for them to meet (Game Night, house party,a meet up for drinks with a small group of friends) and since they are adults, and if they gravitate towards each other, then they take it from their.
Let the Lord use you o!!! Don't block two people's happiness and destiny because you think your single male friends are "useless". Lol!
Ok, so what do you guys think? Let's talk!