This is Africa's #1 Resource for Love & Relationships. The Love Chest takes a holistic approach to love and relationships and through articles, podcasts, videos, events, and merchandise, we talk about Self-Love, Self-Discovery/Purpose, Understanding the Genders, & The Art of Love.
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The Love Chest was founded by Aderonke Adebanjo, a broadcaster, writer, singer, and Love Activist.
"Sorry, I’m a Good Man"
That’s the title of a song by a guy called Mo Brandis. I really like the song. He’s basically letting the sistas know that he’s a good guy and he can’t help being a good guy. So, let me use this opportunity to shout to all the good guys out there J
I just have a few things I’d like to point out to the good guys though. The other day, I was hanging with some guys and girls at a Game Night I organized, which was SUPER fun by the way! Side Note: Try and get together with friends from time to time and just unwind and have a good time. Anyways, after the games, we sat and talked and as usual, relationships came up. We talked about various scenarios but the one that stuck out to me was when one guy was complaining about a girl he had just met and how she wasn't responding to his direct approach and how perhaps it was because he was being a good guy. Say what???
When guys say stuff like that, I always like to remind and tell them that if you consider yourself to be a good guy and you meet a girl you REALLY like but she’s not into you, don’t assume that she prefers a bad guy! She probably (most likely) wants a good guy but that guy is not you. And don’t change your approach with the next girl just because the girl you really liked didn’t like you. That’s life. Accept it and keep it moving. I hear guys say stuff like women want bad guys that’s why they reject the good guys. False. She rejected you but she might not reject the next good guy that comes along. Trust that you WILL meet a girl who will like you but don’t take out your frustration from the encounter with the previous girl on the next girl you meet. Remember, if you act like a jerk a.k.a. bad guy with the next girl thinking that’s what she wants, you’d mostly likely put her off cos most girls actually want a good guy and you would defeat the purpose.
The bottom line is simply that guys need to just be themselves. Enough with the games already. If you’re a good guy but she doesn’t like you then you’re not her good guy. Like one of my female friends from the hangout that night said: Why would a guy want to be with a girl who likes him cos he’s a bad boy?! And she’s so right! Do you REALLY want to be with a girl who likes the fact that you’re a bad boy (which you’re really not but you’re putting up an act) who mistreats her and plays way too many games with her? I didn’t think so J You want to be with someone who appreciates you for who you are and HOW you are.
So guys, if you consider yourself to be a good guy, stay that way. Be yourself. It’s not worth trying to be something you’re not to get what you think you want. The girl you want should be willing to accept you and appreciate you for the guy you are when the time is right
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