"If I Were A Boy…"

…There are certain girls I would never step to. Not because they aren’t pretty or they aren’t nice but because they are so unapproachable. Have you ever been out at a party for example, especially a house party (my favorite kind) and you notice how anti-social (unapprochable) some girls are? Ladies, you know I love y’all and guys have their issues too but I think we can learn from this. Ok, granted, the anti-social sista could be having a bad day, PMS, or might just not be in the mood to be chatty in which case, she should have stayed at home or should try to muster her social skills. 

Now, I’m a people watcher and I’m inclined to observe how women interact with guys. I love it! It intrigues me. I’m the kind of girl who can roll solo to a party and just watch people the entire time. So when I’m out, I find myself watching when a guy approaches a girl and how she reacts. It plays out so interestingly every time. And boy, have I seen it all – at least a lot of it. Lol. Here are a few reactions/responses I’ve seen:

-          The Friendly: I’ve seen the girl who smiles, gives a warm handshake, makes eye contact, and basically engages the guy. She seems genuinely interested in the conversation. She’s not rude. She gestures appropriately. And I think guys love meeting and conversing with this kind of girl cos it’s generally easy.

-          The Flirty: I’ve seen the flirty girl. She also smiles, gives that warm handshake, and makes eye contact. The major difference between her and “The Friendly” is, well, she’s flirty. Lol. Guys typically enjoy this conversation as well. But depending on the setting, they might not always be in the mood for it. Correct me if I’m wrong guys. Lol.

-          The Fake: This kind of girl isn’t a “fake” person but she fakes her way through the conversation. This is the girl who’s irritated/ not in the mood/doesn't find him attractive and she gives the fake smile, fake laugh, fake handshake (lol), fake everything. Some guys don’t pick up on it and they keep going. Others get the hint and move on. This is the conversation that makes me cringe from across the room. I usually feel for the guy cos it’s usually a painful and tasking conversation to get through. I usually sign a huge relief on his behalf when he manages to wiggle himself out of the situation. Lol!

-          The Frowner: This lady is just not interested and she makes it very clear in her every gesture and facial expression, the most common being the frown. Yeah, guys, if you’re speaking with a girl and she’s frowning, take it as a hint, especially if you had seen her speaking with someone else earlier and she was all smiles (but you knew this already, right?). This is another kind of conversation that makes me cringe from across the room and I wish the guy would get the hint and move on quickly.

Now, as you can imagine, there are various reasons why women react to guys in one of the four ways listed above. If she thinks he’s good-looking, charming, or interesting, he’ll probably get the friendly and/or flirty treatment. If she doesn’t find him attractive and he’s forward, he’ll probably get the fake or frowning treatment. My suggestion though to the ladies is to treat others how we would like to be treated and to always remember that you never know who’s watching.  I mean, imagine if you are approached at a party first by a guy you’re not attracted to and you give him the fake or frowning treatment while the guy you spotted earlier who you find attractive is watching from across the room. Chances are he’ll probably change his mind about approaching you thinking you’d treat him the same way, right?

So ladies, what kind of treatment do you dish out? Consistency is key and so is treating others how we would like to be treated. Unless he is overly annoying or rude, I think the moral is to be nice and try to wear a smile at all times or as often as possible. Forget the prospect of a romantic relationship for a second. That person you’re giving the fake or frowning treatment could be a potential client or customer in the business arena.

I have a challenge for the ladies: The next time you strike a conversation with a guy at a party or networking event, pay very close attention to your demeanor and gestures and identify which of the treatments you dish out. Also, when you’re out, observe how other women interact with guys. This might help put things in perspective and make you have a change of heart if you tend to give the fake or frowning treatment.

So, if I were a boy, I would obviously go for the friendlier girl and would steer clear of the frowning one, wouldn’t you?

Any thoughts?