You’ve probably heard this saying before: “The single want to be married and the married want to be single.” So, while it is not entirely true especially the married wanting to be single bit (at least not true every day. Lol), it is true to an extent especially, the singles wanting to be married bit.
Think about it, when you get with your girls, you start off talking about life in general but somehow the conversation almost always ends up at relationships – where are all the good men? When are we gonna get married already? When is my man going to find me? Dating in this city is ridiculous? Maybe I should marry a foreigner. In fact, I’m going to marry a foreigne! What happened to guys chasing women? Guys these days are lazy! They don’t know what they want. And it goes on and on. It’s usually a great venting session to let off some steam from the pressures of being single and constantly reminded about your relationship status. It can even be therapeutic and renew your hope that one day, love will come knocking – hopefully sooner than later. Ladies, you would agree, right?
Do guys have these sessions too? Lol. Do they talk about their hopes and dreams of getting married? I’d like to believe they do cos I bumped into a newly wedded male friend recently and he was telling me about some of his single male friends who would really like to get married and the fact that some are somewhat frustrated and even get a little emotional about it. So, yeah, I think men talk about this stuff too and yes! they do get emotional J
Anyways, there seems to be an overwhelming need for singles to get married and the pressure is from the inside and out! Society makes you feel like singlehood is a season of life that you MUST get out of ASAP. Even when a single person is content with where he is and how he is, the external pressures keep reminding him that he needs to get married quickly. Now, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to get married or thinking about it from time to time but I think it becomes an issue when people become dissatisfied with their single life and yearn a little too much for marriage. It becomes their purpose and ultimate goal in life and occupies their every waking moment. It becomes a burden and in some ways a distraction.
I think it is VERY important to be deeply, truly, and genuinely satisfied as a single person before you get married because marriage is not the “be all, end all”. I talked about something similar a while ago when I said the ladies shouldn’t be too preoccupied with getting married that they put certain aspects of their lives on hold. It is super important for ladies to get it together and focus on building their life because truthfully a more fulfilled version of you is more attractive than a version of you that’s just waiting for Mr. Right to come along. And the same applies to the men. If you’re too preoccupied with that next phase in life i.e. marriage, it can be a little unattractive.
What does it mean to be single and satisfied though? Well, you know what the “single” part means :p but when it comes to being “satisfied”, I think it means being fulfilled and content deep down inside. It’s being happy with your life as it is knowing that you’d still be happy whether or not Mr. Right or Miss Right comes along in one year or ten years. It’s being certain that your worth and value are not dependent on wearing a wedding ring or having “Mrs.” in front of your name. It’s living life on purpose and not waiting around for someone to complete you. It’s knowing, understanding, and being fully aware of and in touch with your worth because it is not defined by another person. It is focusing on the love you have (from friends and family) and not the love you want (from a man or woman). It’s is being occupied with fulfilling your purpose and living a rich life. Being single and satisfied is being whole. And that is what ultimately makes you more attractive to the right person, all things being equal i.e. they are of the same mindset.
Being single and satisfied is being free – free from the need to be married and free from societal pressure to be married. When you get with your guys and girls, ain’t nothing’ wrong with talking about your hopes and dreams about finding love, vent when you need to but deep down inside, just make sure you are free, whole, happy, content with your life as it is knowing that when the time is right, love will come knocking.
I’d been thinking about this for a bit and thought I’d share.
Oh, and recently a married woman that I really admire was saying to single folk recently that we need to REALLY enjoy singlehood for as long as we can cos when you get married, things change a whole lot! For example, as a single person you can just get up and go, but as a married person, you’ll have to get “permission” to do stuff and basically consult with someone on your every move and decision. So she says enjoy your “freedom while you can and for as long as you can! Lol!