Waiting in Vain

From the very first time I placed my eyes on you girl

My heart said “follow through”…

It’s been three years since I’m knocking on your door

And I still can knock some more…

I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love

Lemme just say the lines/rhymes/lyrics in this song are great! Like, what! Guys, you have my permission to use these lines…as long as you’re for real. Lol.

Now, here’s the thing though. When it comes to waiting in vain, I think they ladies might be doing that more than the guys these days. Lemme explain. I asked a question recently and I was pretty surprised by the responses I got from both guys and ladies (the poll is currently on blog by the way. Feel free to share your answer J). I asked the question: When was your most recent proper date*?  The responses ranged from 4 years ago (!!) to 3-6 months ago. I’d say the average response was probably 1-2 years ago!!! The responses from the ladies surprised me more. So, we aren’t even going on dates anymore! What is really going on? *Ok, Aderonke, calm down* Seriously though. What’s happening y’all? It’s looking like the ladies have been waiting for a while cos the guys aren’t asking! What happened to the days when the guys had to wait in vain? By that I mean, the days when guys would wait three years i.e. pursue/try to persuade a girl for a long time just to get a date! Ok, three years would be crazy but you get my point.  I remember back in the day when a guy would chase a girl/ask a lady out on a date (whether or not she gave him the “green light” a.k.a. the go-ahead to) and he didn’t let the possibility of a “no” deter him from the pursuit. After all, that’s what guys did. They took the “no” and kept on moving. But these days, it is SO different and I really wonder why.

It’s almost like it’s the norm for people not to go out on dates these days (I’m speaking generally cos yeah, there are some people who be on a date on the regular :p ). This needs to change. But what’s the issue though? Could it be that guys don’t know what to do on dates anymore so they don’t even bother?  I always say a date doesn’t have to be that boring, dinner meeting that two individuals who barely know each other put themselves through. After which the guy is ticked off that he had to spend a lot of money on someone he just found out he doesn’t like at all. I talked about date ideas a while ago on the blog and I suggest people should be creative and make it less serious and more fun. A time will come when dinner dates will be necessary after you’ve hit it off. And think about it, it would be more fun at that point cos you’ll have more to talk about. So if what to do is the issue, there’s plenty you could do. And guys, don’t assume that women want dinner dates at the initial stage. Impress her but think outside the box. Make it fun and memorable.

Here’s another thing: A lot of guys say they’ve been rejected many times and it feels bad to be rejected so they don’t want to bother with asking ladies out for a while. Huh? If the guys don’t bother asking girls on dates and the girls sure aren’t gonna do it either, then what happens??? I’m sure many of us would prefer to skip the dating process all together and just meet at the altar (can I get an “Amen!” Lol) but since that ain’t gonna happen, we need to find a solution to this dating dilemma.

I’d like to think a lack of dating ideas and rejection aren’t the only possible reasons why guys aren’t interested in asking ladies out on dates and “waiting in vain” if they have to. So guys, please talk to me. What’s the deal? What are some other reasons why you’re not interested in asking ladies on dates these days? I’m asking the guys cos for the most part, this ball is in your court - at least initially. Is it something the ladies are saying or not saying, doing or not doing? Are you shy? Scared? Tired?

Please share your thoughts…

Oh, and by the way, I’m not talking about dating for the sake of dating i.e. just for the fun of it. I’m talking about taking a lady on date cos you know her to an extent and you’re interested in finding out if there could be more so you ask her out on a proper date*. Ya dig?

*A proper date is when a guy explicitly asks a girl out on a date. Not when one person isn’t clear about what the “meeting” is about. Lol