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So, the other day, I asked a few guys the following question: What are the top three (3) things you do when you like a woman?
This seemingly SIMPLE question resulted in drawn out conversations, which were very eye-opening. It seems that many times a guy might think he’s doing all the right things but a woman doesn’t even know he likes her. Some of the guys said they had never actually thought about the question before. Others had a bit of a hard time answering the question (lol). I was not entirely satisfied with some of the responses and I’ll explain why.
All of this tells me something. It tells me that the reason why the “chase” might seem so confusing these days is because guys THINK they are chasing and women don’t believe they are being chased because the elements of the chase don’t tell them much.
Let’s take a look at the responses I got and you’ll see what I mean:
I call her often. I would be around her all the time. And emmm. I would have to think of the last one. This is the first time I’m thinking about this.
Take her on a date. Compliment her. And basically spend time [and] money, conversation etc. doing stuff she likes.
Stare at her continuously. Try to get her attention. Assuming I haven’t already. I don’t have a problem being direct when I have to.
Answering the question isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I can only think of two things. And those 2 gan were after some very serious reflection. Lol. One thing I do is try and find out what her interests are and I let her know I’d like to try them out too. Usually the gesture is appreciated because many people aren’t keen on trying new things. Not long ago, I tried Mexican food cos it was something the lady liked. (P.S. Mexican food was aight). Secondly, I normally give her a nickname that no one else calls her by. It’s usually a derivative of her first name or the first alphabet of her name. Finally, they say if you like someone them let ‘em know, right? So at some point in time (if it’s not abundantly clear already) I tell her I like her and what qualities about her I find unique and endearing :D C’est fini.
Stalk her FB page, get some background info and make a move.
Tease her, show her affection, share experiences with her.
I try to communicate, to know her; I look to spend time with her…and yes, I try to impress her as well…:D in terms of communication, I’d chat or talk with her more often than I do with other people…I’d look to know more about her…get personal…but the thing with this is, if not done right or if done too soon, some ladies tend to back off or put up brick walls. I’d look to spend time with her. Going to the movies or for drinks is an obvious thing but if for example, she likes live music or arts, then I’d look to take her to see live shows and all…it all depends on what she likes or how she likes to spend her time…compliment her…sincere compliments…not the ones that make it obvious that I’m trying to impress her, but I’d notice, for example, if she’s done a new hairdo…but I guess that’s part of impressing as well…lol…that’s what I can think of right now. If these things don’t work, well, it’s to take her name to babalawo [LOL].
Take her out. Ensure I’m the last person she sees or speaks to any given day. Find out from her friends what she likes to do and join her in one or two…surprise her, show interest in what she likes.
Lemme just say that a lot of the responses above had me challenging the guys during the chats in the following ways:
· Compliment her: Guys compliment women all the time, so why would I think you like me cos you compliment me?
· Ensure I’m the last person she sees/speaks to: Uh, how do you know someone else isn’t calling her after you?
· A nickname?? That could really backfire as annoying or it could be seen as cute but either way, I’m not sure it tells a girl he likes her like that.
· Hanging out with her and doing things she likes: Well, she could see it as him not having anything else to do or him just being friendly. This one depends on a few factors.
· I could go on and on but I wouldn’t want to sound like these guys aren’t trying cos they are :)
There are some obvious good ones like:
· Take her on a date
· Call her often: Key words being CALL and OFTEN
· Spend time/share experiences: The thing with this is it has to be obvious that you really want to spend time with her so it doesn’t come off as a “friendzone” hang out. Some guys hang out on a platonic tip so a girl wouldn’t assume anything.
Every guy has his style but what’s really important is that he is very CLEAR about his intentions sooner than later. Believe it or not, girls have assumed things based on guys doing some of the stuff listed above and they were wrong about the guy liking them. The guy was just being friendly. So a lot of ladies are cautious these days. If he ain’t saying it clearly, she’s usually not interested.
So guys, if you like her, the best way still remains to just SAY it!!!
I’m all for building momentum and some of the things listed above could do that but again, the sooner the guy says it CLEARLY, the better for everyone.
So, what say ye?
Ladies, did you see anything in the responses above that made you feel like if a guy did that you would KNOW he likes you.
Guys, what are some things you do when you like a woman?