“Love Thy Neighbor As Thyself” (Part 1)

I always say that you can’t truly love another until you have learned to really love yourself. In the pursuit of love and companionship, it is very important to love one’s self first because you really can’t give what you don’t have. And how does one love one’s self? I believe it’s really about making sure that you are in touch with yourself – fears, doubts, triumphs, dreams, visions, goals, etc. – and that you learn to celebrate yourself and treat yourself well (taking care of your soul, body, and mind).

The truth is we teach people how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves, which is why self-love is so important. If you don’t feel you are loveable, why would (should) anyone else think you are? If you don’t think you are worthy of a good man, why would (should) anyone think you are? If you don’t think your man/ woman should treat you well, why would they think they should treat you well? We consciously and unconsciously train people how to treat us so make sure that you are loving yourself the way you want to be loved.

To the single folk, I'd say don’t wait for someone else to come along to "show you love". If you like fine dining, take yourself out to a nice restaurant. If you like flowers, pick up flowers for your coffee table at home or desk at work. Those things you look forward to when you find love, start doing them for yourself first! And start doing them now. It’ll become the norm for you and in one way or the other, the person will pick it up and do for you what you’ve already been doing for yourself. Of course I understand that there are some things reserved for that person to do but I think you get my point :) We are told to love our neighbor as we love ourselves – not more than we love ourselves and not less. So what you haven't done for yourself, you can't truly do for another and in some ways, you can't expect from another.

I encourage you that as you wait on love, love yourself the way you want your “neighbor”, in this case your partner, to love you. And if you are already in love, let this guide you further so that your partner starts taking a cue from you.


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