Why Match-Making Doesn’t Work

Ok, calm down! I’m not saying it never works but I am saying it might not usually work.

I’ve been thinking about this lately and I realized that the person you know is a VERY different person when they are in a relationship. Sometimes when I see how people react to the one they love in certain situations, I’m shocked because going by what I know about them, I wouldn’t have expected that particular reaction from them.  It doesn’t mean that their reaction was bad. It just wasn’t what I would have expected based on what I know about my friend.

So think about it. You have two friends and every time you think about them, you sincerely believe they would be a match made in heaven. You believe they’ve got complementary personalities. You believe they would look great together. So you get to work. You talk about them to each other. You ask if it’s ok to make an introduction. You ask that question. You know, that question: “Can I give someone your number” and when they get together, you pat yourself on the back for a match-making job well done!

Fast forward weeks or months later and things aren’t going so great between your two friends. In fact in some cases, at this point they “hate” each other, can’t stand each other, and don’t see eye to eye. They don’t blame you though because they know you meant well when you brought them together but you can’t help but feel guilty. You wonder if the situation can be salvaged and ask if they can at least be friends and they both gasp at what they consider to be a really bad idea.

So what happened?? What went so terribly wrong that these two, who you were so sure would get married and live happily ever after, now can’t see eye to eye? Well, I’ll tell you: What you thought you knew of them, isn’t who or how they are – in a relationship and that doesn’t make them bad people.  Think about it for a second. When you’re in a relationship, you notice that how you relate with your “lover” and how you relate with your friends (of the same and opposite sex) is usually very different.  In some cases, things you would tolerate with your lover, you won’t tolerate in friends and things you’d overlook in friends, you wouldn’t accept in your lover. So when your two friends, whom you believed you perfectly match-made don’t get along, it’s very simple, they’ve experienced things in each other that you wouldn’t get the privilege of seeing unless you were in a romantic relationship with the other person.

So, the next time you match-make two friends and it doesn’t work out, don’t be too hard on yourself!  And is this a call to stop match-making your friends? Absolutely not! As we say in Nigeria carry go! But just don’t have high expectations of how things will turn out!


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