What Women Find Attractive
After asking the guys what they find attractive, it only made sense to find out what the ladies find attractive as well. So, here it is!
I asked the ladies the following question:
What are the top three (3) things that attract you to a guy or attracted you to your guy?
P.S. As with the guys' survey, there's a good mix of women here: single, in a relationship, and married :)
Humor, confidence, and ability to hold a great conversation – Bridget, 25
Conversation always top on the list, has to have the God factor for sure, and carriage – Fola,26
Loves God, intelligent/smart, good looking (+ dresses and smells good) – Shimi, 30
Heart for God, I find a man who loves God for real veeery attractive. Warmth and sensitivity, the ability to really listen/pay attention to me and what I’m saying and make me feel special. Good looks, not necessarily Brad Pitt, but good looking, pays attention to how he looks/grooming, polished, and not uncouth – Bukky, 30
Appearance…forgive me for being superficial but I’ll do a double take with a guy that’s well put together…especially well tailored suits that fit. He may not be super cute but a guy that dresses well says something about his character (not the prima donnas…or “I must wear cloth by force”. I can spot those a mile away). A guy that’s up front and I can have a conversation with about anything other than relationship talk…there’s so much more to life than man/woman talk. A guy that openly loves God and Christianity – Dee,32
I had no interest in him whatsoever. He was a good friend and I did not think he was serious. What I really like about him is his acceptance of me. He does not argue when he is wrong and he apologizes. He has also learnt to give and the “koko”, his relationship with God – Oluwakemi, 32
He is a MAN that has a mind of his own. He makes decisions himself with minimal influence from friends and even family. He is a HARD and SMART worker. He knows God but he can improve on that a great deal and yes, he can cook. He is a lawyer that cooks so I call him my chef – Tolu, 29
Intelligence, humor, and compassion – Idia,30
He’s God-fearing, he’s an amazing cook, and he’s yellow [LOL]. He makes me laugh and he’s the most ambitious person I know. That’s five but they are all important :D [LOL] – Nkem, 29
Looks, character, and a sense of humor – Bukola, 37
Height, sense of humor, and thoughtfulness – Ayobami,28
Maturity, humor (clean), height –Laolu,26
Any surprises? Any aha! moments, guys? Do you notice any similarities between what men and women want? Are we really that different in our desires? I don't think anyone is asking too much so why does it seem like love is sometimes hard to find? *sigh*
I asked the ladies the following question:
What are the top three (3) things that attract you to a guy or attracted you to your guy?
P.S. As with the guys' survey, there's a good mix of women here: single, in a relationship, and married :)
Humor, confidence, and ability to hold a great conversation – Bridget, 25
Conversation always top on the list, has to have the God factor for sure, and carriage – Fola,26
Loves God, intelligent/smart, good looking (+ dresses and smells good) – Shimi, 30
Heart for God, I find a man who loves God for real veeery attractive. Warmth and sensitivity, the ability to really listen/pay attention to me and what I’m saying and make me feel special. Good looks, not necessarily Brad Pitt, but good looking, pays attention to how he looks/grooming, polished, and not uncouth – Bukky, 30
Appearance…forgive me for being superficial but I’ll do a double take with a guy that’s well put together…especially well tailored suits that fit. He may not be super cute but a guy that dresses well says something about his character (not the prima donnas…or “I must wear cloth by force”. I can spot those a mile away). A guy that’s up front and I can have a conversation with about anything other than relationship talk…there’s so much more to life than man/woman talk. A guy that openly loves God and Christianity – Dee,32
I had no interest in him whatsoever. He was a good friend and I did not think he was serious. What I really like about him is his acceptance of me. He does not argue when he is wrong and he apologizes. He has also learnt to give and the “koko”, his relationship with God – Oluwakemi, 32
He is a MAN that has a mind of his own. He makes decisions himself with minimal influence from friends and even family. He is a HARD and SMART worker. He knows God but he can improve on that a great deal and yes, he can cook. He is a lawyer that cooks so I call him my chef – Tolu, 29
Intelligence, humor, and compassion – Idia,30
He’s God-fearing, he’s an amazing cook, and he’s yellow [LOL]. He makes me laugh and he’s the most ambitious person I know. That’s five but they are all important :D [LOL] – Nkem, 29
Looks, character, and a sense of humor – Bukola, 37
Height, sense of humor, and thoughtfulness – Ayobami,28
Maturity, humor (clean), height –Laolu,26
Any surprises? Any aha! moments, guys? Do you notice any similarities between what men and women want? Are we really that different in our desires? I don't think anyone is asking too much so why does it seem like love is sometimes hard to find? *sigh*
Have you noticed that those around 30 and above mention "looks" as a factor? Hmmm...
ReplyDeleteLol! Did that surprise you? I guess it's important at any age :)
DeleteI smell pretence somewhere....!!!! No one is talking about the "weight" of "his" pocket, or the type of car..! are we trying to be economical with the truth or we are just trying to be "romantically" correct..! na Naija we all dey stay oh! ehn ehn!
ReplyDeleteLol! Someone actually said "financial security". I just realized I omitted her response from the list :) Lol @ "romantically correct"!
DeleteIMO, the ones who think about the pockets first are usually not sharp enough to follow such an intellectual conversation about recognizing 'The One'. The kinds of people who commented here are most likely those who include pocket weight in a broader context, like 'Compatibility', 'Character', or 'Maturity'.
DeletePlus, I think that these new age women like to be financially independent as well. So, you'd hardly find one who'll openly admit to looking for a living, walking, breathing and loving ATM.
Mide, new age women? hmmmmmm....! I think there are barely new age women in Nigeria. We simply have, the 'cute' and the 'not too cute'.... and guys are.. the 'rich' and the 'poor'....... and i know the'cute' always want to have the 'rich' even when he is a married man her dad's age. and the 'financially independents' want to have the 'powerful and connected' (still in the 'rich' category), unless maybe when they are 35 and still single....! thats when the song will change to, 'i just need a guy who will love me for me and not for my money.....' still waiting to hear that from a cute 24 year old financially independent babe tho. While the 'not too cute' babes will just want a simple guy who still earns 80k per month and hoping for things to get better.
DeleteAnd come to think of it, our society does not really recognise a woman being financially independent, our society puts every responsibility on the guy's shoulder irrespective of his networth and that is the truth. women who are ready to BE and ACT financially independent are readily tagged 'sugar mummy' and the likes especially when these 'women' are not below 30! So, every side, we are messed up. and I just think if you are lucky enough to find love at the appropriate time, savour it and hope for the best.
It's easy to say you're not looking for much and I've heard many of these kinds of responses before, but take a regular guy with many of these factors and put him in front of a lady and she will still balk at the prospect of dating him. For some reason, something will be off or will be wrong and it won't happen. She will see him as only a friend, or that he doesn't have that wow factor. There's always something. Women are far more picky about these things than they choose to admit; I've experienced it, guys I know have experienced it. It's a lot more complex I feel.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, a lot of the same can be said for men. We are just more visual and I for one don't delude myself about the attraction factor, in addition to the more intangible characteristics.
Sims, that is so true.... I am 'guilty' of the 2nd paragraph... I am very visual even when am not (T,H and R) and then the intangible characteristics..... hmmmm!!! God go help me! lolz
Delete@Sims I write this with feeling!!
Delete"... For some reason, something will be off or will be wrong and it won't happen..."
!Ok, what stops the guy from taking care of that "reason" and be determined that he gets her? So what if she sees him as a friend, what stops him from pointedly telling her we are friends but I want more. And prove the relationship will only be better because they are friends? eh?
Honestly, guys are so chicken that they marry girls that are not who they want because she was easy to get, no wow factor because they couldn't be bold and contest for what they want.
Girls like the one you want have been invested in and they've also invested in themselves to get to that point, they are not easy to find so you want one such, you don't let her be picky, you "chuck" yourself there and get her!! Goodness me!!
@Sims I write this with feeling!!
Delete"... For some reason, something will be off or will be wrong and it won't happen..."
!Ok, what stops the guy from taking care of that "reason" and be determined that he gets her? So what if she sees him as a friend, what stops him from pointedly telling her we are friends but I want more?! And prove the relationship will only be better because they are friends? eh?
Honestly, guys are so chicken that they marry girls that are not who they want because she was easy to get, no wow factor because the guys couldn't be bold and go after what they want!
Girls, the kind you want have been invested in (well raised and groomed) and they've also invested in themselves to become very desirable- the kind any good man wants; they are not easy to find, so if you want one such, you DON'T let her be picky, (where would you find another one? "sighs"). You "chuck" yourself there and get her!! Goodness me!! how difficult is that!!