Are Guys REALLY Intimidated by Women?

A friend recently mentioned that a guy said to her that she was too smart and perhaps that’s why guys are running. She said he went on to say that guys of this generation are scared of smart women. At some point during the conversation, I had an aha! moment about why or should I say what guys are REALLY intimidated about when it comes to women these days. This seems to be a recurring conversation i.e. the reason why guys aren’t chasing women like they used to back in the day is because they are intimidated by women. Some people say that guys are intimidated by women’s possessions and achievements – her car, house, wardrobe, job title, digits in bank account, etc. and the usual response is if he is intimidated by your possessions and achievements, he should keep it moving. This is because instead of being intimidated, women expect the guy to rise up to the “challenge” and chase the kind of woman that will challenge him to keep striving for more and work hard. I really do believe that if a guy is intimidated by a woman’s possessions or achievements, he has no business chasing her. Period.
So, here’s what my aha! moment was: While there are some guys who are intimidated by women’s achievements and possessions, I think for some guys, they are intimidated by or should I say, they are afraid of women’s attitudes. Guys THRIVE on respect. Ask the average guy the top three things he wants in a woman and respect is usually one of them. So I think when a guy meets a woman and see that she’s pretty successful – nice car, job, house wardrobe, etc. – basically he discovers she’s a “got-it-going-on” kind of woman, I think for some guys they worry about whether or not she will be respectful. Basically, because she can “do for herself” (which is great), he wonders if when he says one, she will say two. Lol.  He also wonders if he’ll be allowed to lead the relationship as most men want to? I believe every guy wants to feel like he’s the head of his home and relationship. Guys don’t want to have to question who “wears the pants’ in the relationship and they don’t want it to be an issue in their marriage. So, when he meets a successful girl, he wonders if in fact she will be able to respect him given her possessions and achievements. And I think that’s what most guys are intimidated about – not so much what the girl has going for her but how it will affect their relationship.
So, when a guy meets a girl, how does he figure out if and decide that her attitude will be an issue down the line? I think it’s usually from the way the woman talks. If she’s aggressive, VERY opinionated about everything, in some cases rude, and in some ways overbearing, a guy might just run! Now, y’all know me, and you know I’m not saying a woman shouldn’t have an opinion but I think it’s the delivery of the opinion that might scare guys away.
Ladies, this just might be one of the reasons why you’re still single. Think about it.  Go as far as asking your male friends if they think you are a little aggressive. You might be amazed by what you hear cos you might not even know you are doing it.
Men, am I in any way right about this? Please share your thoughts. What are some things women can do to assure you that they have their attitudes in check and don’t scare you away? Again, I’m not saying the ladies need to change necessarily but we can all improve on who and how we are and that’s what I’m getting at here.
What say ye??


  1. Chooooch!!!

    Aderonke, you just hit the nail on the head. What a man, as far as my experiences lead me to believe, is looking for is above all a strong confident woman who is mature and reasoned enough to chill/step back and let me be the man in the relationship.

    If she were hunky dory all on her own, we wouldn't really have anything to talk about. But because we realize that we're to quote Ne-Yo "movements by ourselves, but forces when together" we come together.

    That respect is the only non-negotiable thing in a relationship.

    - Lanre

  2. Good one here,good topic. Firstly,any man who is intimidated by a Woman's success or anyone's success should be kept far away. I have a friend who is scared of Women who shout. It doesn't matter how much he cares about her,if she's a hot head its a total turn off. I noticed that Nigerian Women don't really know how to respectfully make a man understand they don't want him. So, many Men wouldn't even try because they feel if they did and got insulted they wouldn't be able to take the insults. When a Man feels He matters,His opinion is respected,you "want" him around,you "celebrate" each time you see him. He'd do anything for you,including marrying you.

  3. As a man, respect is non negotiable, its all tied up in our make-up. so also is the need to provide for one's woman. if she has it all (can pay her own bills), what do you need a man for? A man would always show his love through his actions (provide, protect and profess) towards his woman, all of which goes together. you cant have one or two. Taking out any would be "disrespectful"

    so ladies, we know you can pay your bills, afford to the nice car, go on the fancy vacation, but let your man be the man. let him lead!!!


    1. GBAM!!!!
      Ladies who have ears, make una hear oh!!

  4. Wow....Great topic here! ...You see,good manners would impress anyone in the world. Most Nigerian women mistake being rude with "fronting". Fronting cab be leading him on and then backing out over and over again...No "shouting" like most of them do,frowning seriously "lol", or using harsh and abusive words. When you are disrespectful to any Man, younger or older you loose a certain glow and adoration any man gives a woman naturally. The fear of being disrespected makes most Men just decide ( its not worth the risk"


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