"Just the Way You Are"

I love that Bruno Mars song. Telling the girl she’s amazing just the way she is and he wouldn’t change a thing. But I have a question: Is it ok to ask your girlfriend/boyfriend to change something about the way they look if you really don’t like it? What things are ok to ask and what things are off limits and in some ways rude? I get asked quite a bit what I would do if my boyfriend asks me to get a perm or wear a weave. Hehe. I cringe at the thought of him asking maybe because I believe that that’s one of the things that will attract him to me in the first place. But if he did ask, I would really question the relationship o.  I know that might seem like a stretch but I’m keeping it real. Why would l have an issue with that? Well, because I love my hair! In some ways it has become my look and I love it. I’m not trying to make a statement with it but I like the statement it makes for me so I would have issues with a guy telling me to change it. The occasional braids here and there, yes but to get a perm, no. We all have our thing - that thing that we love about ourselves that makes us different in some way. Would it be fair to be asked to change that thing?
I know that people have their physical appearance preferences. Some guys like Peruvian hair (weave), others like a girl with natural hair. Some girls (like me) like the bearded look, others like the clean shave(I like the clean shave too but it really depends on the guy. Lol). Some guys like tons of makeup and others like the au naturel look. Some girls like the skinned look and other like long hair. Personal preference is totally fine but what happens when you meet a girl who is EVERYTHING you want but she wears a weave down to her knees but you prefer the natural look. Or you meet an amazing guy but he’s got dreadlocks and you can’t stand ‘em? Do you take a chance on love and then ask them to change their look later? Is that deceptive (ok, deceptive is a strong word but you get my point).
Some changes are very doable e.g. toning down the make-up, cutting off the locks (that might be hard for some people), growing out natural hair (that might be hard for some people too), etc. but other changes aren’t as easy. I’m not sure if this happens but what about girls/guys who ask their men/women to change something about their physical features? Is that acceptable?
If you meet someone who you believe has 95% of what you would like in a spouse but they’ve got a physical feature you don’t like, is it better to walk away, get over the physical feature and love them the way they are, or ask them to change/get it fixed? What say ye?


  1. Beauty gets a "real" Mans attention and He feels attracted to the lady. On the other hand,her character either makes him stay,or leave. There are physical attributes that just take my attention effortlessly. However, its the character of this individual that makes me stay or leave. My ex and I were together for 5 years,she wasn't the most attractive lady I've seen physically. Nevertheless, her character kept me with her easily. " JUST THE WAY YOU ARE" Is not really a physical statement in my humble opinion. Looks change every other day, the way you are doesn't change that easily.


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