How to Attract the Guy You Want

Ok, let me start by saying there are no hard and fast rules for attracting the guy you want but here are some of my suggestions on the matter ;) You can try one, two, or all (or none- LOL) and see what happens. Remember they say “madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.” I ain’t saying you’re mad but you get the point. Hehe. These are just a few of my suggestions and before you read them with all the skepticism you can muster (Lol), just ask yourself where you stand on each one i.e. if you do them or not. Also, feel free to share some of your thoughts on how to attract the guy you want and if you have him already, what did or didn’t you do???
  • Be Yourself: There is nothing more attractive than a girl who is comfortable in her own skin. When a girl is trying too hard to be something she’s not, it’s GLARING. Everyone can pick up on it and it’s unattractive. Take constructive criticism for what it is when it is given and change areas of yourself that really need improvement but be true to your core. Also, don’t try to figure out what a guy wants in a woman. If he is yours, he will accept and love you for who you are. Plus, you can be another person only for so long before you go back to your real self so start off with real yourself – and stay that way!

  • Get Busy: Not busy to the point where you become antisocial and don’t go out but busy with living. I talked about getting it together and not waiting for Mr. Right to the point where you put your life on hold. It’s unattractive. Guys like women who got it going on. So get busy. Live. Discover and walk in your purpose. You will attract a better guy that way. The truth is guys are watching.

  • Try Something New: I’ve been Speed Dating three times* and while I can’t say it’s resulted in a romantic relationship, I can say that it was fun, refreshing, and was certainly outside my comfort zone. So I say create beautiful life experiences. Get out there and have some fun. Do something that challenges you. All of this makes you pretty attractive. I’m not saying try to be something you’re not but I am saying get out there and live it up! Ain’t nothing wrong with that, right? Quit being boring. Discover. Explore. And open your heart and mind to new things. Go Salsa dancing (even if you can’t dance), attend a Happy Hour, attend industry events, hang out with different crowds. Not only will this open you up to new experiences, it will also open you up to meeting new people. So it’s a win-win!

  • Be Approachable: Smile. Let me repeat that. SMILE. Ladies, give the guys the “clear” to approach you. Guys these days need some help (So I’m told) so help the brothas out. But I think more importantly, don’t be afraid to say hello first. Yes, first! Some girls have this down pat but I’m talking to those of you who spot a guy and can’t say hi because you’re shy or whatever the reason may be.

  • Stop Over-Analyzing Everyone You Meet: Relax and allow yourself to fall in love. Remember when we talked about Relationship vs. Complicated Women? Don’t be a Complicated Woman. Don’t miss out on a great guy because as my friend says “you’re looking for an excuse and reason why he wouldn’t be the one.” You know they say if you look for it (an issue), you will find it! So just pray, breathe, observe, heed red flags, but also be open and willing to receive and embrace love. Let go and let love! When you’re relaxed about it, you’ll be more approachable, and more attractive but if you’re always analyzing every guy, you miss the essence of just getting to know someone. I know this one might be a bit hard cos for most ladies, when you meet a guy, you start to check the mental list, if you still have one but try not to. Just. Let. Go and allow things to unfold. Get to know people with a clear heart and mind. There are a lot of great guys out there. I dare say some have their eyes on you but your (tense) countenance is scaring them away and you know guys need the “clear’ to approach. So, just relax.

I am a strong believer that it is the guy’s place to find his princess but I think sometimes the princess is not allowing herself to be found by her behavior so this is just my two cents. Also, check out Top Five Reasons Why You’re Still Single.

What are your thoughts?

*All organized by my friend and that’s probably why I attended :)


  1. Thank you so much for this article. I am always over analysing every guy that comes my way. Such that I now find myself attracted to none. This is not a good place to be. I need to relax.

    1. You're very welcome! I know what you mean :)

    2. Thanks for this Ronke

  2. Spot on! - from a guy


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