Love is Not a Fight: Mars and Venus Must Unite!

Love is not a fight

Mars and Venus must unite!

Love is not a fight

Mars and Venus must unite!

Love is not a fight

Mars and Venus must unite!

Love is not a fight

Mars and Venus must unite!

This is my new chant! I talked about this a while ago and I wanna go there again. Ladies and gentlemen, we are on the same side. Yes! Men and women are on the same side. We are supposed to be fighting for love not in love. We are supposed to be fighting to enjoy love in all her splendor and glory! We are supposed to be fighting to grow in love. Am I saying we are not all fighting for love? No, but I am saying that from my observations and conversations, men and women seem to have a hard to understanding each other and this affects our ability to truly love one another.

I think we have really complicated this thing called LOVE. Is it really that hard to love someone? It can’t be. It shouldn’t be. I honestly think with a little patience and understanding, love can truly be a beautiful thing. I saw a tweet the other day that said: Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. How true! It really does seem like people who say they are in love are actually in war. Why?? I don’t want to be with someone so I can fight him all the time. I want to be with someone so I can love him all the time and vice versa. And I believe it is possible.

You’ve heard that men are from Mars and women are from Venus – basically highlighting how different we are in how we think, etc. Men say women are complicated, women say men are not emotional. Guys say women are over-analytical, women say men are insensitive. Guys say…you get my point. Some of these things are true, some are not. Whatever the case, I think our differences make life more interesting and if we just take time to understand each other better and “speak” each other’s languages, love would truly be beautiful – not a walk in the park ‘cause understanding takes work but it would be beautiful. Afterall, as the song says, “practice makes perfect sense when it comes to love.” 

So, how do we understand each other better?? Well, first of all, we need to ask more questions. We assume WAY too much about the opposite gender and most times our assumptions are false. And because we are so certain our assumptions are correct, we interact based on those assumptions and that is a recipe for a stressful relationship. We can’t read each other’s minds. We don’t have all the information necessary to understand why a person does what they do BUT we can ASK. If you're a single guy, ask your female friends questions and vice versa. At the February edition of Conversations & Cocktails*, I wanted us to try to get to know/understand the opposite gender a little better so it was a Q & A session. The guys asked the ladies questions and vice versa. I really feel like we all left there feeling like we UNDERSTOOD the opposite gender just a little bit better! It was great! Here is one of the questions that really got people talking:

Question for the guys: Why do they sulk and maintain a moody silence when they can easily tell us what’s wrong?

Answer: Sometimes guys are quiet because they don’t think women can handle the truth. If a guy is quiet, the woman can say to him she understands that he doesn’t want to talk about it now but she will ask again in a few hours and when he’s ready to talk about it, she will be all ears. [This is certainly a better option than joining in the silent treatment game thinking that his silence has something to do with you when it doesn’t.]

So, let’s start loving (better) and stop fighting. Remember that Tweet: Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. We are on the same side y’all! Your husband or wife is NOT the enemy!! He/she is the one you love!

If you have chosen to love someone, choose to understand them as well so you can truly love them. Also, don’t assume, communicate. Ask questions. Share your thoughts. If he does something and you can’t wrap your mind around it, ladies, don’t bottle it up – this the man you love! – ask him to explain. Apply wisdom. Don’t nag, speak. Guys, when your woman is in a “mood”, ask her what’s up and when she says “nothing”, don’t dismiss it. Try to get it out of her. Apply wisdom. This is your queen – the woman you love! Also, explain your actions to us so we don’t misinterpret you.

The list of things we can do to understand each other and thereby love each other better, goes on and on. I wanna hear from you guys, what other things can we do to understand the opposite gender better?

Remember:

LOVE IS NOT A FIGHT. MARS AND VENUS MUST UNITE! #TheLoveChest :)

And it starts with each of us!

P.S. Come back soon cos the next post is that giveaway I talked about a while ago. Yay!!!

*Conversations & Cocktails is a monthly networking event  I host in the city of Lagos to bring people together for a chilled evening of good conversation and great company. Attendees make new friends, establish new business contacts, and just enjoy healthy, intellectual discourse. It’s always an evening well spent.