A Good Man

Almost every woman will tell you they want a good man – a man who treats them well and loves them. And for some that’s as far as their definition of a good man goes. But how do you know you’ve found a good man?  What does he look like? How does he behave? Will you recognize one if he was standing in front of you? Have you let one go because you were focusing on the wrong things?

If you’ve been following me on Twitter (@AderonkeHiica – I say some pretty deep stuff on there, if I may say so myself. Lol), you would have noticed I’ve been asking some questions that I’ve tagged #YourMan.

As I thought about it some more, I realized that in essence, these questions can help a woman figure out to a large extent what a good man looks like. I’ve also realized that in the grand scheme of things, a good man is what a woman really wants but it is VERY important that she can articulate EXACTLY what that man “looks” like. She must be able to identify the traits and qualities that make him good.

One of the best ways to get answers is to ask questions, right? (Duh! Lol) So, if you’re trying to figure out what/who a good man is, it would be best to ask the right questions.

So ladies, when you get with a guy, aside from figuring out if he is “The One”, how do you figure out if he’s a good man? I think this list of 25 questions might help:

1.     Does he contribute to your happiness?*
2.     Does he make you smile?
3.     Does he make you feel good?
4.     Is he kind?
5.     Does he encourage you?
6.     Does he lift you up?
7.     Do you pray together?
8.     Is he generous?
9.     Does he listen?
10.  Does he make you laugh?
11.  Do you work well together?
12.  Does he tell you how much he cares about you?
13.  Does he keep his word?
14.  Does he show you how much he cares about you?
15.  Does he support your dreams?
16.  Is he your friend?
17.  Is he easily angered?
18.  Is he rude?
19.  Does he keep record of your wrong doing?
20.  Is he patient?
21.  Does he hold your hand?
22.  Is he gentle?
23.  Is he humble?
24.  Is he forgiving?
25.  Does he make you want to be a better person?

This list is by no means exhaustive but in answering the question “what does a good man look like?, I think it is a great start. Ladies, I encourage you to picture in your mind’s eye what a good man would look like to you. Get a very clear picture. Don’t be vague about it. Then start to ask the relevant questions that will yield answers as to whether a guy fits your picture. Now, I must say that nobody is perfect so he might not check off on all the questions but you will be able to decide what areas you are willing to work on with him, what areas you will compromise on, and what areas are not up for discussion.

Men, I know this may seem like it is asking a lot but when you look at these questions closely, I’m sure even you would agree that a good woman deserves a good man who displays these qualities and more!

Ladies, how do you define a good man?

*No one can make you happy but people can certainly contribute to your happiness.


  1. If these Women could answer these questions about themselves, if they had it locked in on all those questions, there's no man alive they can't handle and even convince to change his whole life for them. But, most African Women act like they are perfect and the problem is just this opposite sex that are " forced " to deal with on earth. If you ask even married Men in Nigeria their answer will be no, no, no, about their wives to most of those questions. It would be that she's the one who thinks she knows it all and mistakenly married this Man who is more like an ATM Machine and baby maker. The one who is always reminded by his "life partner" of how inadequate he is and how perfect she is and she also makes sure the kids are on her side too....Classic from most Western African homes.


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