Phew! Talk about a bit of a hiatus. Thanks for always checking back though. Y’all rock.
Men, this one is for you. I’m gonna keep it short and sweet. If you really want to know how to get a woman’s attention when you’re asking her on a date, here are some of my suggestions on the dos and don’ts. This is basically a guide to showing the woman that you are a gentleman as I realize some guys honestly just don’t know. Also, remember that sometimes when a woman says no to a date with you, it’s not usually because she doesn’t like you and doesn’t want to spend time with you. Sometimes it’s because of the way you asked or how things went when you hung out before. So here are some of my thoughts on what to do and what not to do when you’re asking a lady out on a date:
- Don’t wait till the last minute to ask. For example, it’s Friday morning and you call or send a message and say “hey, wanna do a movie tonight?” Now I understand that some men these days also don’t want to appear desperate but seriously dude? Asking her on a date on the day of like she was just sitting around with nothing else to do hoping and praying you’d ask. Some women find this lastminute.com behavior rude and annoying and the truth is even if she didn’t have any plans, she would decline the offer and tell her friends of your “bad” behavior. Ask at the beginning of the week. It makes her feel like you thought about her when you were making your plans for the week and she wasn’t some afterthought!
- Don’t leave the planning to the lady. So you say something like “hey, lemme know whenever you’re free and wanna hang out”. Uh, yeah, chances are she won’t reach out to you and yet again, she will tell her friends of your “bad” behavior* (lol). If you want to spend time with a woman, be proactive. Come out with it and don’t leave it up to her. It doesn’t make you look like you’re in charge and most women like guys who look like they’re in charge.
- Don’t ask her where she’d like to go. You asked her so you should have a plan after all you’re the guy and remember a lady likes a guy who’s in charge. If you’ve picked up in conversation that she likes a particular cuisine or activity, do your homework and then give her like 3 options of places to go and if need be, what makes each option good. Trust me, this puts you in a very good light. Please don’t ask an open-ended question like “where would you like to go?” Take charge!
- Offer to pick her up. Even if you know she’d turn it down, offer anyways and mean it (cos she might take you up on the offer). Yeah, it’s more work for you but the drive is a great opportunity to talk before you get to where you’re going. Plus, it’s a really nice gesture!
- Pick up the tab. This should go without saying BUT this IS the 21st Century and things have REALLY changed. There are strange, unbelievable stories out there of how guys didn’t pick up the tab. Please guys, pay the bill for goodness sake. You asked her out, so pay. She really could have been doing something else but she chose to spend time with you – cos you asked. Make it pleasant from start to finish. Don’t make it awkward. In fact, one of the best ways to sort this out so she doesn’t reach for her purse (cos the independent woman will make an attempt to pay) is, after you have established that neither of you is having/doing anything else, excuse yourself from the table, go to the cashier, pay and return to the table so that when you’re ready to leave, y’all just get up and go.
Most of the examples have to do with dinner dates but please remember that the date I’m referring to is after y’all have had a chance to get to know each other to an extent in relaxed setting and you wanna take things up a notch. Y’all know I don’t like dinner as the first date! Ewww! Lol.
Ladies, got anything to add to this? Would love to hear your thoughts!