I wanna get to know you
How can I get to know you?
I wanna get to know you,
Know you better
This is the chorus to a song by a very talented soulful artist called Ledisi. She basically talks about this guy she’s been seeing around town and how she’d really like to get to know him. One day, they’re out at the same place and he asks her to dance and he finally says the words she’s been longing to hear – the words in the chorus. What happens after that i.e. if they actually get to know each other is another story. Lol.
I strongly feel like people aren’t getting to know each other these days. Even though technology has advanced tremendously, I feel like there are so many superficial relationships and friendships. Everyone’s your friend on Blackberry Messenger, Twitter, Facebook, and Whatsapp but how many are actually your friends? How many have you actually called on the phone recently or sent an email to or hung out with? Now, I’m not saying everyone has to be your friend to that extent cos that would be ridiculous, right? But I feel like even with the friends we do have, technology has most certainly changed the dynamics of relationships and how we get to know each other better. Plus, everyone is SO busy these days that even “scheduling” friends into our calendars seems like work! (Sometimes though we really need to pause and ask ourselves what we are SO busy doing. Might help put things in perspective)
Remember when we used to write and post letters? The thrill and anticipation of getting letters was amazing! Tearing that envelope open as we glanced at the sender’s address to see who sent it was pure joy. I recently suggested Pen Pals and people thought I was crazy. Lol. Then we started sending emails and the delight of checking your email perhaps the next day (not instantaneously like we can these days) and seeing an email from a good friend felt good. Nowadays? Well, people send you an email, BBM you to let you know they’ve sent it, then check in with you a few minutes later to see if you’ve read it. Ugh, it’s so sad! Also, friends can go days and maybe even weeks without hearing each others’ voices – they don’t even use voicenotes on BBM and Whatsapp! Lol. Now obviously this doesn’t apply to all friends. There are some relationships that technology can never change but in general, the art of building friendships and really getting to know people has changed and I can’t say it’s for the better. It also seems a lot of people are actually comfortable with superficial relationships even though they wouldn’t call them that. You’re on my Blackberry Messenger, I see your updates, I have a good laugh, I have very shallow chats with you from time to time to “check on you”, I don’t really need to know too much, just the basics. Some people don’t even know their “friends’” or should I say “contacts’” surname!!! Lol.
So, what about when it comes to a prospect, someone you wanna get to know like that? Well, I think technology has once again affected that process and not really for the better! Let’s get into it: When a guy met a girl back in the day (and I’m not talking too long ago), he’d ask for her phone number and she’d either give it to him or refrain and offer her email address instead (I did that once before :D. Made it interesting. Hehe). The responsibility was then on the guy to make the effort to call and have conversations with her before arranging a meet up. He’d have to call a few times and earn her interest before asking her on a date (for some reason I don’t really like that word but I digress). If she gave her email address instead, he’d have to take the time to type an email, check for grammatical errors, be somewhat creative, etc. and then wait for her response, which could take days to come. He’d have to do this over time as well before requesting a meet up.
Picture courtesy flickrhivemind.net