I Dare You!

There’s a saying that goes something like this: “To get what you’ve never had, you have to do what you’ve never done” #word , right? Well, I want to challenge y’all and dare you, particularly the ladies, to try something new. I see a lot of beautiful, strong, intelligent, and godly women every day who are VERY single. We’ve established that being single is not a bad thing but if you desire to be married, it means that at some point you want to stop being single, yeah? I also hear and observe that a lot of single people (both guys and girls) are not meeting new people and the people in their space don’t seem to make the cut. Although, I told y’all what I think about that.
In any case, I want to encourage you to get out of your comfort zone. I keep stressing the importance of meeting new people and expanding your social circles and not just so you can get married but so you can enrich your life’s experiences. So, listen up, I wanna dare those of you whose lives tend to be a routine (that you hate) of go to work, Church, and home, cue repeat! I’m asking you to try some of the following things. I’m asking you to be slightly brave. Hehe. I’m asking you to live a little! And what’s the worst that can happen? I mean really? Here goes:
-          Call that guy you like to say hi
-          Invite your guy friend, who you kinda like, to hang out (drinks, a movie, etc.)
-          Visit another Church/attend another Church’s event
-          For those of you who don’t like weddings (how that is even possible beats me) attend the next one you’re invited to
-          Smile back at someone (if you don’t already)
-          Say hi first
-          Call the guy first
-          Attend a soiree, get-together
-          Initiate conversation first
-          Follow your friend to her office’s happy hour
Notice I’m focusing more on what the girls can do. Reason? Well, guys, na your work i.e. this is stuff y’all do anyways, for the most part, so I’m daring the ladies.
Remember, none of the things listed above means you’ve asked the guy out cos you know how we women get: “Why should I call him first???” Well, why shouldn’t we? Doing this stuff just means you’re showing interest. Most of you have thought of this stuff before but can’t imagine how or why you should do them.  And if you’re afraid of a guy not responding positively/favorably, don’t be! Just live a little! Have fun! Be free to do what you want to do! Trust me, I know this stuff can be hard to do but just try J
So, ladies, I dare you o! Hehehehe. That feels good to say, I guess cos in some ways, I am daring myself! Lol. Most importantly, just have a good time through it all and please come back to share what it was like. Trust me, it will be liberating J
P.S. The stuff I listed doesn’t even scratch the surface of stuff you can do to get out of your comfort zone but you get the point ;)


  1. I was having a conversation with a colleague some days ago about this same subject and then 'hey presto!' your post came along hit the nail on the head. I've come across women who go for what they want and seem (in some people's opinion) pushy or aggressive, whilst the conservative girls wait patiently for men to make the first move. Personally, I think a lot of beautiful, godly women are leaving too much too chance/fate whilst the minority are making some bold (and not necessarily desperate) efforts to engage (not trap) men.

    When a woman makes eye contact or says hello, the first thing that strikes me is her confidence. Men need to follow up on these 'signals' so the weight is taken of the woman.

    I do hope more women (especially Nigerian women) read this article :)

  2. Spot on...women can't seem to differentiate between behaviour with a man looking for a good wife and a man looking for just a girlfriend or girl chatbuddy. If you are a serious woman out for a man who is looking for a a WIFE, then that man is actually looking out for a woman who is comfortable enough with him to do some of the things listed in your post, Ronke.

  3. Brilliant!!!!! and I echo every comment aforementioned

  4. Er.... I don't know... The whole 'make the 1st move thing'... I don't DO that. It's just not me. Besides, do you know the ENDLESS potential for rejection, embarrassment and rejection that kind of behaviour holds?? Nah... I know it's old-fashioned and not very progressive but... I just can't. I'm sorry. : (

  5. Sorry, the 2nd 'rejection' should say 'humiliation'. Besides, you know guys. (I should say some guys. Working on not generalizing). They'll inevitably come off with the impression that you're some sort of floozy. I really should try, though. My brother's been encouraging me to 'get out there' for some time. *sigh..* Ah well...

    1. Lol! I feel you! You can do it :)It's time to get out of the box! If they "reject" you, it's their loss *snaps fingers* Remember, you're NOT asking a guy out, you're just showing interest and being more approachable and friendy.


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