It’s (Not) Complicated

I’ve been pondering a lot on what that guy said about being a “relationship woman” or a “complicated woman” and so have a lot of my friends. He made a lot of sense. To some extent, I don’t think getting into a relationship is as complicated as we have made it out to be. For the “complicated” sistas, they have to realize that IF they REALLY want to get married, they’re going to have to “take the plunge” for lack of a better way to say it. I mean, I don’t think anyone has asked or is asking for too much when you consider what guys and girls say they want in “the one”. There are approximately 6 billion people on the planet and I’d like to think that at least one person should be able to be all those things and I dare say more! I think the hesitation a lot of people feel is cos they are afraid. And who wouldn’t be? Marriage is no joke. It’s a decision to tie your life to someone else’s and it shouldn’t be treated lightly as we all know. But like I said, if a woman (or man) wants to get married, she’s (he's)going to have to evaluate her (his) options and make a decision – prayerfully – yes, prayerfully! I mean, if you think you can make such a life-changing decision on your own, by all means, go ahead, but my advice? PRAY! J
So, what are people afraid of anyways? Pause and think about it for a second. What are you so afraid of? I ask again, what are you so afraid of? Ask yourself repeatedly: What am I so afraid of? You know they say a problem is half solved when you know exactly what the problem is. In this case, if you are able to figure out what scares the mess out of you regarding marriage, you can address those fears and move on. “Complicated women” are usually just afraid and they will find all the excuses in the book regarding why this guy who looks so good on paper is just not it. So, it’s not really as complicated as we make it seem, it’s really a matter of facing our fears squarely and as I always say being true to ourselves.
So ladies, “complicated” ladies that is, figure out what the REAL issues/fears are, deal with them (prayerfully), evaluate your options (the guys currently in your space), and see what happens.  It’s really not that complicated. It’s simply a matter of identifying the issues and working through them. Remember, time is ticking. The more you find excuses, the more great guys pass you by, and inevitably, the older you get. So do what you gotta do! J
Ladies, what are you so afraid of? Please share some things you are afraid of when it comes to picking “the one”.


  1. I'm afraid I may make the wrong choice, wake up maybe 5 years later one morning and say to myself: I made the wrong choice. I may not be able to forgive myself or live with that realization afterwards.
    But then again, as you said, if one prays about it, there shouldn't be any mistakes. Our God isn't a God of error, is He? No.
    On the other hand, some of us are not complicated, we just get involved in 'complicated situations', or we keep waiting for a sensible offer but none comes along. In this case I would say that the men have something they are afraid of. I'd like to know what that is, Aderonke!

  2. I'm afraid of settling for less and finding the "right one" after I say I do to the "wrong one"

  3. Thanks for sharing! Regarding realizing its the "wrong person" later, check out this blog post


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