Beauty, Brains, But No Beau! Part 2

Ok, so let’s pick up from where we left off. We were talking about the poll I had on the blog about why people think they are still single and I wanted to analyze each answer as it applies to the many beautiful, Godly, over-a-certain-age, intelligent, single women out there.
I’m Unapproachable
Believe it or not but yours truly has heard something along these lines from friends before :( Sad face because I consider myself to be VERY friendly. I’m the girl who will strike a conversation with the loner at a party (as long as the loner isn’t creepy. Lol). I enjoy meeting new people. So when people say that I am somewhat unapproachable, needless to say, I am usually a  bit confused. Anyways, so what makes a girl seem unapproachable? Could it be the lack of a welcoming smile? Could it be she's always with her friends so no alone time for the guy to approach? Could it be she’s not very sociable and so she’s never seen at any events? I really don’t know so men, feel free to tell us what makes a girl unapproachable. Whatever the case, I still believe though that if a guy finds a girl attractive, he will find a way to get around her unapproachable demeanor and approach her! Or would he?
I’m in the Wrong Social Circles
Not sure why I’m brave enough to talk about myself a lot on this post but hey, it’s all good :) My friends tell me that if anyone shouldn’t be single, it’s me. LOL. Why? Because I have a diverse pool of friends! I hang out with a lot of different groups of people. Thanks to my line of work, I meet new people regularly. I’m pretty sociable AND friendly (yes, I’m reiterating that. Lol). So could changing up your social circles be the answer? Well, yes and no. Everyone’s experiences are different so changing up your social circle might get you closer to Mr. Right but it may not. I always say people should expand their social networks regardless for richer life experiences not necessarily just to find a spouse.
I Have No Idea!
This is my favorite answer because in some ways, this is my pick. Like I said at the beginner of the post, if we knew the answer to why we were single and wanted to change our status, we would, right? While we can do things to help the situation and I do believe in playing our part, we can only wait and hope that love finds us sooner than later.
So to all ladies out there – you got the beauty, the brains, but no beau, IT’S OK. Keep doing you. Take the advice that enriches your life experiences and wait patiently, trusting that at the right time, love will come knocking and usually when you least expect it.
I’m still curious to hear your thoughts y’all. Why do you think there are so many beautiful, Godly, intelligent, single women particularly over a certain age these days?


  1. Q. "If a guy finds a girl attractive, he will find a way to get around her unapproachable demeanor and approach her! Or would he?"

    A: No. A guy can find a girl attractive but observe that she is an a**hole, and therefore not approach her. This happens very often.

    Q: "So could changing up your social circles be the answer?"

    A: No. The answer is already within your social circles. I recommend reading Paulo Coelho's 'The Alchemist'. Your friends are not being honest with you. They are vacuously telling you what you want to hear and trying to bolster your confidence. Being single for a long time is not a coincidence; it is a result of oblivion.

    Q: "To all ladies out there – you got the beauty, the brains, but no beau, IT’S OK?"

    A: So many girls kid themselves that they have "beauty" and "brains" when they certainly don't. What they have are friends patting each other on the back with the same mutual lie as well as those insincere and preying men seeking to score some credit that they can leverage. If these girls had such irresistible "beauty" and "brains", they would have been snapped up by the sensible "beaus" out there for the long-term. Cream always rises to the top. Stop kidding yourselves about having "beauty" and "brains" - I know it feels as good as a crack addiction, helps to brave the world and get through another lonely day. Be brutally honest. The great tragicomedy is that such girls are in love with themselves and actually incapable of loving another human being. So, set yourselves free from chronic delusion and sleep better at night. Women who have "beauty" and "brains" don't bang on about it; it is self-evident, they ooze it and they are constantly wooed.

    Q: "Keep doing you?"

    A: As David Boswell once said, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."

    1. Interesting...I'm guessing you're a guy, yeah? Well, thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. How does a guy judge a girl from a distance without approaching her per your first response? If "insanity is doing the same thing...", why wouldn't changing your social circle offer a possible solution? There are many reasons why beautiful and intelligent women remain single and it isn't always about them kidding themselves. Nonetheless, I enjoyed reading your comment. Cheers :)

  2. Well written Babes but for me i think the real problem with having many single ladies and guys is the fact that majority of us live false lives. I want a certain kind of life style which the other person may not be able to offer or be able to live up to...There are lots of women with beauty&no brains n some with beauty&brains but they are both still single, many atimes the problem is the foundation, holding on to certain pasts that we do not want to let go off. Some women also are not tolerant or patient enough to wait for the good stuff...Then also cultural differences...u see all the reasons u wrote as the reasons why there r lots of single ladies r usually the excuses we give but deep down most of us cant hold down a relationship or move past certain issues...For me whether u look outside ur social circle or in ur social cirlce, if u dnt ve urself ready for a mature relationship, u will never be able to identify "THE ONE"

    1. Interesting points. Thanks for sharing girl. True, sometimes they are excuses that cover deeper issues but sometimes the solution lies in simple changes...Cheers!

  3. Perhaps alot of these single women aspire for an 'ideal' man rather than a 'real' man with all his imperfections. There are basic markers that a lady should look for 1. Does the man love God? (note I said love, not fear).2. Is he ready to build a home (note the word build) 3. Does he have the capability to love. I think these are pretty basic. Alot of single ladies want a man that exists only in movies...the Bruce Wayne kind of man, who's physically and financially fit, few have the patience to chisel out the diamond from the rock and help the man reach his full potential. So in summary I think alot of single women out there are too busy searching for the finished product (which they rarely or never come by)instead of looking for a man they can grow and develop with. By the way I'm sure these 'beautiful' women with 'brains' are quite far from perfect.

    1. Thanks Patrick! I hear ya and I do think women need to be willing to grow with a man ("chisel out the diamond from the the rock") but even women who are willing to work with a guy still remain do we explain and figure that out?


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