The Friend Zone!

We all do it. We meet someone, become really good friends, and then bam! We file them into the “Friend Zone” folder. You know that zone where you make it clear to yourself (first) and then to the person (in subtle and sometimes not-so- subtle ways) that you can only be friends and nothing more. The friend zone is not always fun especially when one person likes the other like that but realizes that they’ve been zoned. It’s painful. Lol.

So the other day, I was having a very interesting chat with a friend about romance and then he made a statement that really got me thinking. He said “The best relationships start in the friend zone”. Might not look like a deep statement when you first read it but read it again. Most of us agree that the best romantic relationships often start as friendships during which you get to really know each other – no strings, no ulterior motives, just platonic friendship. You can be yourself all the way – no pretenses or facades, no forming cos you’re really not trying to impress the person. Then something happens. One person realizes that the other is actually a really great person and that they actually want more out of the relationship. But the other person doesn’t always see it like that and that’s when it gets hard.

My friend also said that “a guy who has been friend zoned may cease any further attempts” and that also got me thinking. If the guy first snaps out of the zone and realizes that he really likes the girl, chances are he wouldn’t want to risk asking her for more out of the relationship because she had zoned him. And at this point, if the girl snaps out of the friend zone too and starts to like the dude like that, it will probably be up to her to subtly break the ice.

Ladies, I think most of us have been at that point when we realize that we are starting to like a guy who up until then was just our buddy, “our guy” as we say in this part of the world. But how do we let him know that our feelings have changed without being explicit. Especially when we had made it clear to him that he was in the friend zone. I think in some ways this ball is in our court ladies.

Think of all the great guys you have friend zoned that you are starting to realize you like…Well, it’s never too late to take him out of the zone. The thing is many people see the friend zone as negative and once in the friend zone, always in the friend zone because even when they start to have more feelings, they don’t know what to do so they let a potentially fabulous relationship pass them by. I say, it’s time to take charge! You like him, ladies, be subtle but make sure you let him know ASAP. And guys, you like her, if you get a sense that she’s giving you subtle signs that she has “unfriend-zoned” you, make a move! Ain’t nobody got time for regret! Do it, do it now!! And enough of the “I don’t want to ruin the friendship” talk! You just might be missing out on what you’ve been looking for all along!