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Do All Men Cheat?
I cannot begin to tell you how many women TRULY believe their husbands will cheat or are already cheating. A lot of women have resolved in their hearts that the man they married will cheat because “men are wired to cheat”. Wired by who, biko??? A lot of single women in these parts – Nigeria to be precise – have checked the “he will cheat” box on their list (why it’s even on the list beats me!). They believe that any woman who doesn’t think her husband will cheat is simply naïve. With the stories they’ve heard and the things they’ve witnessed, to them it is an accepted fact that husbands cheat. Period.
Some guys, in fact, most guys get upset when women generalize and categorize men as all being the same. They say it’s unfair, which is true. Some of them believe that the more you tell your man that you know he will cheat or say it in his hearing, the higher the chances that he actually WILL cheat even if he typically isn't that kind of guy. The reason? The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. Your belief that he will cheat will affect your attitude towards him, which can actually make him cheat. It's one of those Psychology theories. And you know you gotta be careful what you say to people cos they just might become what you say. I think then it’s better to tell him how much you trust him (and mean it) because that will strengthen him.
I conducted a quick survey with some of my guy friends and their responses were interesting. To the question “Do all men cheat”?, I got the following responses:
~ No, but most do.
~ Nope, some of us can be faithful. We might fantasize about it though but won’t actually carry it out.
~ No, but those that don’t are in the tinniest minority.
~ No, I’m a man and I don’t cheat, so…
~ No, but all women assume all men do and it also depends on how different people define cheating.
~ No, same way all women don’t.
~ Is that a trick question? *LOL*
With some I had really long conversations and we chatted through it – what cheating is, is thinking it just as bad as doing it, etc. I even got a response on Twitter from Paul C. Brunson (the real-life "Hitch" and Co-Host of LoveTown, USA on OWN). His response was: “We don’t. All research underscores this”. He went on to tell me to Google “Infidelity Research”. My research has begun and I encourage you to do the same and see what you find.
So, what's the deal? Do all men cheat? I don’t think so. My guy friends say no. Do you all agree?
Ladies, why do you think it is common to believe men cheat?
P.S. Apparently, women cheat too but I wanted to address the male angle on this post.