I Will Cook for You Baby!
The subject of cooking comes up a lot in my conversations with both guys and girls so let's go there already! "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach" is a saying I've come to believe based on things I've heard and seen. There is something about a woman cooking for her man that seems so important and I think it's really more about the act of nuturing and not just the cooking. Men want and I think HAVE to feel cared for. I believe it's the way they're wired and cooking is one major way a woman can show her man that she really cares about him. I have to be honest, years ago I didn't get it but now I do!
Now, there are a lot of independent women (not a bad thing) who aren't sure that cooking consistently i.e. every night for their man is practical or even possible! The thought of having to come home and cook for their man after a hard day's work is a turn off for a lot women (I think. Ladies, am I right?). I can't really explain it but perhaps it has to do with the fact that if the woman and her man both work demanding jobs in the city of Lagos (or any other similarly crazy blessed city), the thought of coming home late after sitting in traffic for about 2 or 3 hours and being expected to cook when she is just as tired as he is, is straight up not cool. In fact, some women think it's wicked of the man to expect her to cook for him in that situation - like how can he be so heartless i.e. who is his slave?! LOL. So, what is the compromise in this kind of situation? Do they do take-out every night? Does their cook make her man's food? Married folk, please share some ideas.
I remember a conversation I had with some guys (hard-working, eligible bachelor-type guys) who said they'd prefer their wife's and not the cook's food because there is something about their wife cooking for them that speaks volumes. It ain't easy though in this fast-paced era to come home and cook for your man when you're really tired but I guess if it comes down to how much you care about him and his well being, which is a reflection of how much you care about yourself and your well being then it might be easier to do. This is how I see it: If a person cares about him/herself enough to make sure they find a way to eat right everyday no matter how tired they are, it will translate to them doing the same for their spouse. Afterall the Bible says "love your neighbour as you love yourself" not more or less than yourself (Lol). So if a woman is already taking care of herself as a single woman (i.e. not doing take-out even when she is tired but finding a way to make sure she eats right) I think it would be easier (not necessaily always) to cook for herself and her man. No? It is easier said though!
The idea of a man expecting his woman to cook for him is not as archaic as most women think. It looks like guys like it, want it, and perhaps NEED it to feel loved. They don't always want the cook's food (I keep referring to the cook because a lot of people have cooks in these parts) but they want YOUR food made by your hands with your love all up in it! So, ladies, if it makes them happy, I guess it's the way to go, yeah? Obviously, he has to be considerate and understand that some days it'll have to be pizza (or the cook's food) but on those days he'll know it's an exception and not the rule. Now, I'm not saying all women don't like cooking/don't cook for their men. In fact, I've been around married friends who say things like "I have to go home and cook for my husband" and I think it's so cute! Lol. I even know of one lady who serves her husband his food kneeling down! Yes, in the 21st Centurty :)
So, all the single ladies, say it out loud: I will cook for you baby! (LOL). Declare it. Repeat it. Confess it. Until it makes sense! Lol! The idea might take a little getting used to for the independent ladies but if that's what is necessary, then hey, you gotta do what you gotta do! Remember, at the end of the day, it's actually a reflection of how much you care about yourself.
Guys, is it true that your wife's cooking is really a big deal? Do you really care if she cooks the food or if the cook makes it? Please share your thoughts.
Ladies, do you think men need to be more considerate? Do you think it's impossible to work a job and be expected to cook everyday?
Picture coutesy elegantblackwoman.blogspot.com
Nice post. I'm happily married (for 5 years) and i dont cook everyday for my husband. We actually take turns cooking. Although right now being pregnant i actually havent cooked in 5 months. I dont live in Nigeria and so dont have a cook :( so my husband has cooked these last few months.(Just so you now we are both Nigerian).Maybe we are non traditonal?? Or maybe I'm just lucky. But I will end by saying to each is own, we should do only what works for us.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comment! You guys take turns cooking?? Wow, girl, you are blessed! Hehehe. You're right, couples should do what works for them. Cheers!
DeleteErrr.
ReplyDeleteI'm not married yet. So let's say I know not what I say ... for now. But, I'm somewhere in between the middle of the independent woman, and the one who kneels down to serve her husband. More to the left sha. x_x. Lol.
I think there are ways about it. There should be a meeting point, a sort of compromise. I will cook for you baby, but not everytime. I don't see why we can't have soup in the freezer, so that all we have to do after work is cook rice, make eba or amala, etc. I have met a number of young guys who have said they won't marry a woman who can't commit to cooking a fresh pot of soup every night. I think that's inconsiderate sef. What if I get home at 9? Dude expects me to start grating okro for his favorite soup then? And would still want me to play him in a number in the sack after that? I think not.
In fact, I think this is part of the reason that there are so many unhealthy people in these fast paced cities like Lagos; eating so late, in addition to 'enjoying' stress levels of 90%+, and not being able to give or get some after being forced to cook late. I'm just saying...
Don't get me wrong o (just in case my future husband is reading this, Lol). I love to cook, it's a hobby; but when it's inconvenient, it's inconvenient. There's no other way to spin it. The koko now is to pray for someone that gets that and can make do with eating soup from the freezer on some days, and pasta with shrimp sauce on others.
Hehehe! Lol 'Mide. Nicely said. I agree there should be a meeting point but girl, soup in the freezer in a place like Lagos (light today and no light for the following 2 weeks) would make that hard but I feel you. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteI agree with the comments above. You make a good point about how the by product of taking care of yourself translates to taking care of your significant other. Taking care of your sore feet (ie not cooking) after a long day is fair game too :)
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day, there should be a compromise. Taking turns to cook is fair, she's a wife not a mother ;)
Keep the posts coming!
Lol! Nice one Aderonke. I also agree with Mide's point about sometimes having to chop out of the freezer. Ain't no shame in that game mehn. If you freeze it WELL then hopefully NEPA's wahala won't be that bad. At least be able to eat 3 day old left-overs naa. Omo it's a tough economy oh, and it's good to be prudent. I plan to do bit of cooking myself when the time comes, so my wife will enjoy small. Ronkus, you know I cook, testify! Bwahahahaha.
ReplyDeleteLOL! I know you cook Sims but if you can cook is another issue cos I haven't tried your food yet ;)
Deletei'm a single guy in my mid 30's, i live alone and mostly cook by myself. i really dont have issues putting stuff together as i see it as a hobby but i will want to agree with ronke on this, when my mum cooks, it a whole lot different and i try to imagine my future wife's cooking when the time comes.......awesome. ladies if you don't do it, there's someone out there who will at no cost.
ReplyDeleteNice one ronke.