7 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Exciting

From what I’ve heard and observed, it is clear that at some point, marriage can become boring and mundane if the people involved don’t make every effort to keep it exciting. After the honeymoon, the real work begins and it takes the commitment and creativity of both individuals to make marriage fun and interesting. So I wanna take a stab at seven things I think could help keep a marriage exciting. My married friends, please chip in and share what you do!

Here goes:

1.     Have LOTS of sex. Hahahaha (Can you tell I got a kick out of saying that? LOL). I had to go there. I’ve heard people say that sex is SUPER DUPER important in marriage and some might even say it’s the most important thing (that’s up for debate) but I think we can all agree that it is pretty important. I would imagine that having lots of it and keeping it interesting is what is most important. Interesting being the key word. How do I know so much seeing as I’m not yet married, you ask? Well, I have lots of married friends and have had all kinds of conversations with people so my ears are full!! Have lots of interesting sex people! Don’t let it get old. Put it on your calendar if you have to (as some people recommend) but whatever you do, have it as often as possible and make it special as often as you can!

2.     Say “I love you” every day and mean it. They say familiarity breeds contempt and I would imagine that after the honeymoon and all the excitement has calmed down and you start dealing with the reality of marriage, like his/her weird and annoying habits, paying bills, disagreeing on issues, dealing with in-laws and extended family, making major decisions- together, agreeing to disagree, etc. you might not always be in the mood to say “I love you” to your spouse. But in the midst of what happens, it is important to always remember that you do love the person and that they need to hear you say it. Don’t assume your spouse knows, say it and say it often – every day!

3.     Touch – sexually and non-sexually. I saw a tweet recently that said “Couples in a healthy marriage touch frequently (both sexual and non-sexual touching) and I was like YES!!! because I agree. I think it’s easy to stop touching when you become accustomed to having the person around all the time but don’t let that be the case. I think the most important thing to note is the non-sexual touching. Some people don’t know how to touch non-sexually but you can learn. Little things like this can go a very long way in marriage. Oh, and yes, if you guessed so, you were right - one of my Love Languages is Physical Touch! Hehe.

4.     Do something spontaneous and completely out of this world for your spouse every now and then and don’t think too hard about it. Just do it! (Husband for the wife and VICE VERSA ladies! Lol). Something that would really surprise and thrill them. It doesn’t have to be expensive or over the top but it does have to memorable! Examples? Pack a bag for your husband on Thursday, check in with his secretary or check his calendar to make sure he’s free, pick him up from work on Friday, and drive him straight to a hotel for the entire weekend. Turn off your phones and just be. ***Man, I’m a romantic*** Another example? Leave a trail of clues for your spouse throughout their day leading up to a nice dinner at their favorite restaurant. Another? Organize a meeting with their favorite celeb or back stage passes at a concert or football game. Ok, some of these examples might be expensive but you get the point. Lol. Let your imagination run wild. Don’t over analyze. If you think/know they’ll love it, do it! Remember it’s all about creating experiences and memories. If you’re married, you probably do some of this stuff already but maybe you haven’t in a while. I dare you to do something soon and see what happens :) If you’re still single, keep this handy, you’re gonna need it! Lol.

5.     Give each other space from time to time but before you do, talk about it and DON’T call it “giving each other space”. Lol! I just couldn’t think of what to call it here. What do I mean? Well, I hear that sometimes either or both parties might just need a couple of days to clear their head and just have “me time”. Allow each other to take such solo breaks. I read once that sometimes you can choose to sleep on different beds/in different rooms for a few days and you shouldn’t be obliged to always sleep in the same bed – they say it’s actually good for couples to do this from time to time as needed. Tread with caution though. Make sure you TALK about it first and make sure you aren’t doing it from a place of anger. If you are upset with each other, please sleep in the same bed! Lol. What I’m referring to is when you just feel like you wanna…sleep/be alone. It’s refreshing and will help keep things fresh when you get back to your routine.

6.     Play the “I love you because…” game*. This is where you say “I love you because…” and you list reasons (big and small) why you love your spouse. I think with the familiarity that comes with marriage, it’s easy to say “I love you”, which is great, but leave out the reasons why. It’s important to let your spouse know why you love and appreciate them and the truth is they need to hear it. People don’t hear it enough and they need to know and be reminded about how you feel about them. The mood has to be right though. So go for a walk, hand and hand (like high-schoolers) and play it; dim the light, play soft music in the background and play it; go to a nice dinner and with all the background noise, zone in and play it; watch a sunrise together and play it; are you getting the picture? Hehe. And obviously, you wouldn't say "Honey, let's play the I Love You Because...game", one of you would just start it and the other would/should play right along. I know it sounds lovey-dovey and some of you might be like “geez, all this romantic stuff” but hey, this stuff is powerful ;)

7.     Be kind to one another. Whatever you do, don’t stop being kind to one another. Use kind words in private and in public. You know, “please”, “thank you”, etc. Demonstrate kind gestures – hold the door open, help to carry stuff, offer help in one way or the other, even in the littlest things that they look like they can handle. A little kindness always goes a long way. Be kind - every day. Don’t take each other for granted. Once you let a seed of disregard take root, it’s hard to nip it and if it grows…well, you don’t want that to happen. So be kind to one another all the time. Never forget that and don’t let it slip.

What say ye? Married folk, please chip in. Single folk, please share some things you think could keep a marriage exciting. 


*I made up the game and I think it makes sense, if I may say so myself :)