What You Should NEVER Say to Your Man!

We all know that men are truly softies, deep down inside and what we ladies say to them especially if they really love us can cut them deeply and sometimes they don’t even recover. This is why it’s SUPER important that in the heat of the moment, we don’t say something to our men that would scar them – after all, we love them, right?

I have a few ideas of things I shouldn’t say to my man but I wanted to hear directly from the men. So I asked them what they would like to hear their women say to them and what a woman should never say to her man -  I believe both are very important.

Words are VERY powerful in any relationship and as we all know, once you say something, you can never take it back even with an apology. Men have emotions too and while they might seem macho most of the time, like I said they are softies who need to be encouraged too. By the way, being a softie is not a bad thing ;) So be extra careful with your words (this is directed at the women but the same goes for the men too. Be careful what you say to your woman).

I remember attending a women’s event many years ago. The attendees were single and married women and we were talking about a bunch of stuff but there was one woman’s advice that has stayed with me till now. She said one day, she was angry at her husband and wanted to say all kinds of things to him but this time around she decided to restrain herself. So, she took a piece of paper and vented onto the paper. She wrote down everything she wanted to say to him and then she tucked the paper away. A few days later when she had calmed down, she read what she had written in her anger and was SO happy she hadn’t said any of it to him. Needless to say, she got rid of the paper. The moral of the story? You ain’t gotta say everything whether to him or to someone else. Sometimes the best thing to do is walk away.

I asked a few married men (age bracket, I’d say 30s to late 40s, early 50s), the following question:

What are some things your woman should/can say to make you feel good?

Here’s what they had to say:

~ You’re the best thing after God to happen to my life. If there was another life, I will still want to be your wife. There are men, but you stand tall above them. No matter what happens, my husband, I have faith in God that you will lead me and the family on the right path.

~ Maybe reassuring me of her love.

~ Thanks

~ I feel good when my wife lets me know I’m functioning appreciably well in my capacity as the head of our home/relationship.

~ You make me happy.

~ Just tell him always that he’s a great guy and you are happy you married him.

Do you see the common thread? I certainly do!

Now, here’s what they had to say when I asked what a woman should NEVER to her man:

~ And you call yourself a man. Can’t you see what your mates are doing? It’s not your fault, it’s my mistake for marrying you. [YIKES!!!]

~ I think I’d like my woman to be able to say anything to me. But never lie to me.

~ Compare a friend’s hubby/boyfriend [to me].

~ My wife should never compare me to other men (not necessarily about money) but as men.

~ When are you going to do/be/get/buy (fill in the blank) like X’s man does?

~ Never say to him “You’re a failure”, no matter what happens.

Looks to me like men just want us to believe in them, encourage them, and look up to them and they don’t want to be belittled or made to feel like less of a man. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. So ladies, let’s do what we gotta do and remember when you feel the need, grab that pen and paper and vent onto it (cos venting to friends isn't always a good idea but that's a discussion for another time!) and be sure you hide it so he doesn’t find it!

What say ye? If you’re a man, reading this, please share your thoughts.

NEWS FLASH!!!

If you missed the first episode of The Love Chest TV, watch it here.