Calling All Men...
So men, this one's for you...ok, it's really for the ladies.Lol. What do you all want? Like seriously. I know a lot of beautiful, Godly, successful, got-it-together sisters, who are still single. Let me just say, ain't NOTHING wrong with being single but I know they'd like to be in a relationship at some point and it seems the guys aren't saying anything.
So, this is where y'all (men) come in. I just want to know what you all look for in a woman whether physical or not, please spill the beans. Are some women over-doing certain things or not doing certain things at all?
Let's talk!
Hmm...
ReplyDeleteWhat are we looking for? For physical attributes, different men look out for different things, what matters is that the guy finds the lady attractive. Men(as well as women) have their specs, so I'm not sure there's one answer to that...
Behaviourally, humility and submissiveness seem to score strong points (doesn't mean we are looking for someone to trample over). However we don't want a lady that is submissive to everyone, just her man, lol.
For me everything else is chemistry....
Nicely said Emeka. What would you say to a woman who thinks submission is old school.
DeleteFor me personally I want a girl that can embrace her sexuality. One who is spiritual but not all up in your face with it. Someone that is not self-conscious and one with a good sense of humor. Plus if she looks like Meghan Fox or Toni Braxton I don't mind =)
ReplyDeleteCool. "Embrace her sexuality" That's very interesting. Lol @ Meghan Fox or Toni Braxton.
DeleteWhat he says @ Emeka's take... I reckon guys can only speak for themselves because perceptions and priorities vary.
ReplyDeleteThat said, even with one guy the different degrees of chemistry in different relationships often affects the context in which one weighs all these things.
The non-negotiable for me is that I have to feel she has and is committed to a relationship with GOD. Not that she has to be as mature as mother Theresa, but the relationship shouldn't just be a nice-to-have in her life sha. The ALPHA and OMEGA gist is a necessity to me. If she's not ready to disappoint herself or me for GOD then I don't want that kind of love...
As Emeka said, attraction also matters a lot, though it isn't 'the' ranking priority. Physically, yes I have preferences, but not a 'type'.
More important is our chemistry (based on her attitude, character, personality etc ) and that sets the tone for considering anything else.
One thing Emeka didn't mention that matters to me is her chemistry with other people. Her family, friends, even colleagues etc even before I consider what she's like with mine. There's little point if you're awesome to me, but unpleasant to other people in your life or my life. I might feel like our chemistry is either put on or induced by the 'in love' euphoria..
Nice one Mr. Man! Very nice explained. Thanks :) Many women don't always think guys take spirituality and a relationship with God seriously so, it's nice and refreshing to read this. You have a preference but not a "type", do you mind elaborating on that?
DeleteEmeka, Ofili and Mr Man have all made valid points. This is quite interesting because according to a blog post I read yesterday, the conclusion is based on volume of conversation around a particular subject, women want ice cream while men want cars (Ford mustang) Pretty simple. lol. For me, it starts with the attraction. She has to grab my attention and I'm not saying she should be a combination of Angelina Jolie and Charlize Theron (won't that be nice lol) but I have to (like the song says) stop and stare. Another thing I love is a woman that dresses right, knows how to put her pieces together and looks great effortlessly. Beyond the physical, a relationship with God is non negotiable, a woman that makes Him the center of her lifestyle because I believe this will affect all other areas of her life. Beyond looks, a woman that is independent; works hard and can enjoy her company without relying on anyone, passionate about something, isn't over bearing, knows her role in a relationship and isn't trying to compete with the man. I guess submissive is the word. This in no way means the woman is less than the man. Any man that believes such is foolish. Last but not the least, a woman with a great sense of humour.
ReplyDeleteThis is so refreshing! Thanks David O. You know the whole "independent woman" thing has always been an issue but I like the way you explained it.
DeleteI agree with some of what's being said, and I especially agree with what Ofili said, but I think the word that is more appropriate instead of submissiveness is deference. Even with best intentions, if we as men think to find a submissive woman, we will end up treating her as a second class individual or a piece of property. What I believe we as men need are strong women who are our equals because the truth is we are not always right and we often times make mistakes. I cannot have a wife who wont speak up when she sees me going to make a mistake, simply because 'I'm the man and what I say goes'. I'm not saying that I want a woman that will argue with me, but I do want a woman who is able to make me consider her opinion before a make a decision. I'm looking for a life partner, someone who has my back and vice versa. That for me is the true fulfilment in a relationship, especially one in which we have similar views on spirituality and God.
ReplyDeleteSubmissive, deference....whatever word you use, ladies must understand that the man is the head of the family, even if she pays all the bills. Many ladies possess unnecessary pride and ego making them manly. Two men can not live under the same roof. A hard heart and an unforgiving spirit is a HUGE turn off. Hearts of stone are for men not women!
ReplyDeleteMen are naturally polygamous but times have changed, and for that man to choose you from the many....very many single women and decide to love and protect you as his one and only wife, you have to sacrifice a lot more than he ever will...and you need to show him that submission and respect from the very first day you met him, even if he is younger.
I just gave you the secrets in all men's hearts. Men will hide it because ladies will pretend only to become worse after they get married.