What If I Make More Than My Man?

This is a question that is becoming more and more popular these days. "Is it a problem if I make more money than my man"? "Would we be financially secure"? Would I be able to respect him"? The men are wondering what that would mean for the relationship and they ask questions like "will she disrespect me"?

When you love someone, what does that have to do with the size of their pocket? We have all come to agree that the man is the head of the home, right? He is the breadwinner, the man. However, life happens and people's careers take them on different journeys. How much he makes and his drive are two different things. He might have the drive but perhaps what's coming in hasn't caught up yet, yeah? Is that an automatic disqualifier? If the guy is not making more than you, then is it a straight-up no-no? Sadly, the answer to that is usually a YES!

Women want to feel secure and I can't say I blame them. Especially the older they get. When you've crossed a certain age as a woman, you're really not interested in marrying "potential" that you can grow with. That's the truth as harsh as it sounds. So when a woman meets a guy who makes less then she does, she worries. She worries that they won't be financially secure and nobody wants to walk into a marriage with their eyes wide open, knowing it'll be a struggle.

Now, the guys on the other hand, while making less than the woman they love can be a blow to their ego, I think guys are more concerned about what it would do to the relationship (guys, help me out here). The guys worry that the woman might disrespect them, talk down on them, tell her friends, etc.

Here's my question though, what happens when a woman meets the "perfect" guy who makes a truck-load of money, they get married, and six months down the line, he loses his job and she becomes the breadwinner? #foodforthought

*Picture courtesy of averagecollegeguy.com


  1. his money is "our money, my money is "our money" ... I think we give money more props than necessary ... it really should not hold that much weight ... if with "our money", we have enough ... kinni big deal?

  2. addendum to 1st comment: he is working hard regularly, right? This is just I get paid more than he does ... not that he's home doing nothing.

  3. I don't think it should be a big deal. What is money? A utility. Any woman that makes it a priority is shallow. For the man, he needs to get over his ego. I've seen great marriages work in such situations because both parties understand that money, though necessary, does not define their union. Having said that, this will only make sense if the man is hardworking and driven. A lazy man cannot make this argument.

  4. For me, the key is drive! If he makes less but is driven and ambitious is very different from making less with no drive whatsoever. I would gladly support a man that has ambition and is going somewhere, rather than a man who is content with minimum wage earnings.

  5. I am engaged to a very wonderful man and what i earn monthly is almost double his salary. We both knew i earned more when he was 'toasting' me but all i said then was that as long as he is not a lazy man and unknown to me he actually makes extra income as a result of his profession.
    My candid opinion is that as long as he has the DRIVE then go for it. My man is extremely hardworking and provides for me. I also support when necessary and he appreciates me for it.

  6. Thanks for sharing guys! Very valid points :)


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